A piece of my mind

The odds.

2011-10-12T23:50:00.001+08:00

We are blood related, with the least age gap but yet the distance between us is much more compared to anyone else.
It's not that we don't get along but i feel that i'm the last person you want to have a heart to heart talk or spill anything.
And yet, i'm the one who observes you everyday, knowing when you're on a bad mood and when you're not.
I'm the one who would go around telling people that you're being crazily emotional like i'm complaining but i'm actually trying to make people aware that you're not feeling so great.
I'm the one who got a little upset when mom didn't notice that you are feeling down and moody all the time and she said you are going out too often.
I was actually quite happy to be able to be in your brighter days..which was quite limited.
It didn't felt nice not being asked or invited to join the run.
But i guess i'm like this, backstage coordinator. lol!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was in between of some sort of..........something today.
I didn't like it at all, i feel that siblings are GREAT! :D
I like big families.
I feel that yelling at each other makes things way worse; ignoring would be better.
I really am proud of my siblings and i really love and cherish them a lot.

It will definitely be different without them in my days of life.

Signing off.

Hui <3

Late birthday post!

2011-09-28T14:31:00.012+08:00

I had a whole weekend of fun for my birthday! Here it goes........I will just bombard my blog with pictures. :D

10/9/2011 (Chilly pan mee ,mani-pedi, Jap food for dinner)

Loves.

Manicure, pink nails on pink pillow

Rose on my toes! :D

Since 1998

Like!

my epic face

Family pichaa

playing with the dry ice to create effect. :P

Flower+ my head

Sinful

11/9/2011 (Gong Cha Day)

We,Us,Ours

Signing off.

i love you,

& my family. :P

Mom, you too cute la!

2011-09-21T23:58:00.004+08:00

see those tiny notes stuck everywhere? :D

On my mirror

On my bed

On my brothers bed

and on the note it says...

Well, i guess my mom gave up on yelling at us and decided to use another way/method to get us to tidy our things and i guess it did work cause i packed my table immediately after i saw the note. It really made me laugh looking at this rather fresh approach my mom's taking. :D

7th monthie!

2011-09-15T00:59:00.002+08:00

I'm still wondering what/how will we be if it didn't happen 7 months ago. I'm definitely glad that it did because this 7th months together with him has been nothing but great!

Me, like always is taking him for granted. Every monthie he would buy me a slice of cake which is not like a tradition for us and i would do NOTHING. I would get mad at him for the tiniest things sometimes and yet he would not get mad at me. Sometimes I feel that i'm such a meany 'cause he would apologize hoping i won't stay angry and would smile. I always give him hard times but he never ever once complained!

He would spend lots of effort to make my everyday. He would make important occasions or dates so GREAT! He would make me feel good about myself every single time i complain that i'm fat and ugly! He does make me feel like i'm the most special girl!

I really think that i don't appreciate him and what he does for me enough.

I just love how comfortable we are with each other and we always sort things and not keep any hard feelings from each other.

I hope we will make it far!

i shall update about my birthday next post with pictures!

Loves,

Hui

Mom, give it a break.

2011-09-08T13:31:00.003+08:00

Every morning I have to wake up to her yap yap yaps. Every single thing in my room she has to complain about. I wouldn't even called it my room, since there is no privacy and personal space. I shall call it-the bedroom. I can put my clothes however I like as long as it comes handy for me, I can throw my things or rather PUT my things anywhere I want! She just have to complain about every single wire there is on my table or like things in my drawer and shits. I can't be keeping my lappie adapter and phone adapter everyday right? since I use it almost everyday. As for my clothes that I left on the rack, LEAVE IT !I'll probably wear it like tmr or smth. She's ALMOST a OCD. She wipes EVERYTHING , EVERYDAY! I love hate that she does that. I mean, yea great. I have got a super mom who maintains the house well. The damn thing is, she wouldn't stop nagging us on everything. If you don't like how I do things in my room, DONT GO IN. I guess there should be just one corner or one section of the BED ROOM, that I should be in control with, deciding where I place my things. I don't think she will ever be able to handle people who has to work in a mess. mehhh..=.=

If I have an apartment of my own, I will organize my room well that things won't be in a mess. Cause I would know how I like things to be so I will buy suitable towel rack and cupboards for myself. You have your way of living, I know.

I'm not MESSY, you're just being overly organized that every single tiny thing has to be squeeky clean and in place all the time.

Dust is everywhere mom, give yourself a break.

Just the two of us.

2011-08-30T13:13:00.002+08:00

I'm starting to get afraid of not being able to remember everything we have done together. =( I think I better start blogging bout things because I forget bits and pieces of it. It's just been 6 months but it feels like we have been through so so much together. We do have a couple of exciting things that we experienced together and many first time(s) together. I really do hope that they just keep coming.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I really enjoyed my day, my time spent with him yesterday. We went up to Genting Highlands yesterday 'cause we had free tickets to the show-Glitz. It was pretty entertaining and exciting at certain parts. Anyway, we reached Genting around 10 or so. It was his first time driving all the way up and all the way down. I definitely made the right choice of trusting him with my life! :D He drove so so so slow and so so so carefully on the way down.

We didn't enter the theme park though, because it's school holidays now that families are crowding the entrance already. So, we just hang out around the place.

We had breakfast--> walked outdoors-->shopping--> arcade-->lunch-->walked around-->play pool (beat his ass)-->movie--> HE BUYS DINNER CAUSE HE LOST!--> Glitz-->Had supper at Ghotong Jaya

I'm already having trouble remembering the sequence but o well! Great day it was for the both of us.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for always trying your best to make my everyday.<3

Struggling to build confidence.

2011-08-21T01:21:00.004+08:00

You know, there are so many people i see who don't seem perfect or lead a perfect life but they are or at least they look super confident. They are happy and contented and happy with what they are and what they have whereby I, can never be like that.

I always negatively self conscious and people around me (aunties, family friend, relatives etc) would compare me to my siblings. Urgh. Such an unhealthy activity for the minds of youth. People tend to compare more of what they can see on the outside (body figure, features and whatsoever).

Seriously..It happens all the time. My relatives would tell me i got fatter or wtv. It's like, OMG leave me alone! OR any other time that they would go saying my sis got thinner and I am putting on weight.

I'm can still exactly remember like...during CNY. We went to my aunt's place at cheras. I could hear my mom and aunt discussing bout my body figure compared to my sisters. I heard that my aunt say that my 2nd sis is definitely thinner now compared to me. There's also this time when we went to a family friend's place during CNY and on that day i wasn't in much of a dress up mood or doll up mood so i just dressed simple and comfortable while my sis and cousin wore matching high waisted shorts and nice tops. Then my mom's friend went.."wow...you both look really nice, really pretty" then she actually turn to me and say "owhh...you are lack of it" Roughly like that in cantonese. It wasn't much of a pleasant CNY cause almost everywhere i go, it happens. Even just now, when I just got home, my aunt went "I thought you suppose to lose weight while working, why does it look like you put on weight". Well, I was wearing a lose shirt which might make me looking a lil bloated. My mom kinda told her that it the shirt. Thanks mom.

Thus, I've now gotten a little reluctant to go to any family event/ extended family dinner with my sis or without.

My sis is definitely, lighter and thinner than me now. So people, you can go ahead and congratulate her and leave me out of the picture. Seriously. So what? Just because she use to be heavier than me all the time, now lighter than me and thinner than me it's suppose to be a OMG SO BIG thing? geez.

I'm just so annoyed. Really. To an extend that i'm such a meany i hope my sis freaking put on weight. I'm so grr-ed up cause she lost weight from eating irregularly or not eating at all. Yet, people don't see that. Like HELLO! This is not a freaking weight losing competition man.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway, I've got to go to sleep now. Got to go to work tomorrow.

I guess, the key to a happy life is to ignore what other people think or say and be confident thinking that nothing can bring you down. And I myself have to stop comparing myself to other people too.

I may not be happy with what I am, but i am definitely happy with I have.

'Cause i have you.

Kthxbye. Goodnight.

Love.

2011-07-06T11:16:00.000+08:00

I don't need silver,

I don't need gold,

'Cause I know that I have your heart and soul.

;)

It always happen.

2011-06-25T23:00:00.002+08:00

I letting my emotions take over again.. It happens to me all the time that i dunno why am i unhappy but i just am. I mean...lil things that doesnt really mean anything upsets me..then i continue being upset for no good reason.

Hmm..I think i should do something bout this

I should stop being one emotional bitch.

It will only make other people's life difficult. Especially him.

Good news : WE ARE GOING TO REDANG!!

Super excited.

but then i think i really have to do my scrapbook quick.

I dont think i'm gonna make it like great la. I will just do something average and hand it in.=x

*really can't wait to see him, miss him so so so much...

Not Just Physically attached.

2011-06-14T13:15:00.002+08:00

It's the 3rd day since he went to London.

This shall be a test for both of us, to prove that we are not just physically attached.

I'm feeling better after the first 2 days and plus I get to see him online so it's alright. :D

Well, aside from the time zone that's bothering me..Everything else is fine! =)

Hmm..I just hope he does miss me as much as I do miss him.

I mean..I do leave posts on.."the wall" but..He barely wrote anything or replied.

maybe i'm just being sensitive.=)

I do hope he has a great time there! .

Can't wait for him to get home too! :D

I'm happy

2011-05-24T13:22:00.003+08:00

I'm definitely much more happier with who I'm with now than anyone else before.

He makes so much of effort to keep me happy and cheer me up when I'm not.

He tolerates with my shits. =x

He keeps the sparks up in our relationship by surprising me anytime, anywhere.

He makes me feel

special

great

confident

wanted

ANYTHING THAT'S GOOD

Iloveyou & Iloveme when I'm with you.

Walking in and out.

2011-04-19T15:30:00.002+08:00

Was reading my old blog posts. When i say old, i mean posts from 2007 and so on. I just realize, many people walked in and out of my life, just like that.

Reading back my blog posts remind me of things i forgot about,

about me when i was young, about times with my sis and cousins, about friends who were once so so close to me and about him.

I'm no longer affected by what he say, what he post, how is his life and all.

Or rather, i can't be bothered.

I just hope all the best for him.

I read the old posts, i realize.

I did what i could, i tried, i worked.

But, it just didn't work out.

Now, I SHALL SHOWER AND STUDY!

Past Present Future

2011-03-02T14:45:00.003+08:00

When i was form 3, i've thought of going to Japan.

I wanted to do hair styling,

I wanted to pick up Japanese class,

I wanted to be someone GREAT.

I wanted people to talk about me,

I wanted to be outstanding,

I wanted to do something different,

I wanted to be special.

But now, i did none of those.

Now, i'm just another common mass comm student.

My aunt and uncle kept asking me if i want to go U.S because last year i was mentioning about going to U.S.

I regret mentioning bout it 'cause now they would ask me if i'm going almost everytime i see them.

It just happened just now when my aunt told me that U.S unis are recruiting IT and Mass Comm students.

There's so much to think about, dilemma much.

I don't know if i want to go to aussie or U.S.

My aunt say that it probably costs the same for both.

Except that U.S has more paper work to go through and i have to sit for the SAT exam.

Goodjob.

If i have decided to go, should it be next year?

U.S.....is the adventure. I can see so many different things. It would be different from aussie. I can learn so much more. I can experience so much more.

Aussie...feels closer to home... The place will feel much more familiar 'cause there would be many familiar people around me like Hanyi, my sis and cousins friends and all.

Dilemma dilemma dilemma dilemma..................................................

Come to think of it. my past was like, a waste.

I wanted to go overseas right before everyone,like right after SPM. BUT i didn't.

Why didn't I? hmm...good question.

Was it 'cause I didn't know what to do?

And you know what?? Another thing i regret is...

i didn't join volleyball in highschool 'cause the practice is during my english tuition time.

If i get to choose again now, i would simply stop my English tuition and go.

I know it was be a great experience to get to play the tournament.

Envy those who got to experience it before leaving high school.

Sigh.

But, i'm glad that he is actually encouraging me to go overseas.

He said "if wanna go, of course go further."

Which is true.

"A" would just tell me "up to you"

I think i would really put U.S intro consideration and go research bout the universities.

Fear of rejection.

2010-12-07T12:46:00.002+08:00

I think i've been building up my fear for rejection.
Everytime i ask him for something like..."i want ice creamm laa" in a merajuk way.. or wtv
He would just reply like "owh...where you wanna go?"
It just gives me the feeling that he doesn't want it.
Fearing of rejection..Not wanting to hope for anything..
I would just say " owh..it's nothing..i'm just saying"

This happened quite a few times.
I dunno if he noticed.
But i think i'm getting use to doing that.
A form of..protection or cover?

Aussie or U.S?

2010-12-06T19:08:00.002+08:00

I suppose it is about time to think bout where i want to study next time and what.
I've been considering both aussie and u.s. Mass comm and Marcomm.

I still can't make up my mind.
i'm really tempted to go to u.s though.
=)
it's more like a 60-40 between u.s and aussie. for now.

I shall continue thinking bout it after my final exams!
ciaooo!

You never knew.

2010-11-19T17:48:00.003+08:00

I am not the type of girl who likes to show sorrow and tears.
If i have a choice, i would definitely avoid crying infront of anyone.
I don't go crying out loud infront of you, or tell you how much i cried or how sad am i or how broken i am. or those kind of shits.
And cause i didn't tell you, i suppose you'll never know.
You'll never know how much i cared,
how sad was i,
or how much i cried.

I don't need you to know how sad was i, or if i cried. But at least, i hope you are a little bit more sensitive to my feelings and emotions.

I guess, most of the time when i'm sad or anything...
i express it with anger and frustration instead?
And all i am is an angry person?

Feeling lonely is not being physically lonely, it's being mentally or emotionally lonely. What's the point when you're beside me but asleep? It's like you're there, but barely there.

The worse feeling is i had to sit beside you, looking at you..
hoping you'll open your eyes any minute then and give me a hug.

All i need is some time together with you..& a hug.

Little pieces.

2010-11-19T15:37:00.007+08:00

6/11/2010

Guess what i did on that day? celia, chris and i went to kepong to fly kite. Hehe. Well. It was pretty fun. Tons of kites and people too.

Look at them. so cute.

the face.

& the face.
The sky was getting dark.=/
miss hamster on the roll!

& myself!!

11/11/2010
Went to watch Megamind with Cal &Jp who are never on time. =.=

Zee Bf in pink! =D

=o

14/11/2010
Went to pavillion to shop. Didn't buy anything for myself though.

whoo. chubby face!

keeping ourselves entertained!

Lalala.

Ha-act cool-Ha..xD

Pink Cam, Pink top! :P

Good bye!

*****************************
Bf is currently taking a nap cause he only slept 2 hours last night. what am i gonna do!?? Sigh..He asked me to come over to do what?..use his comp? or enjoy his aircond..while he sleeps?

o well.

Bored to death.

2010-11-18T22:51:00.001+08:00

OMG! i'm like literally just stoning a while ago. i have been opening the browser and close it and open it and closed it. Walked up and down , don't know what i want.

I wanna blog, with picture but i can't freaking find my cam cable and my bro lent the memory card reader to his friend.=(

++ bf is out....what am i gonna do?!?!?! RAWR!

此时此刻

2010-11-07T22:00:00.002+08:00

我觉得他还有值得我受住这段感情的地方。

我愿意再尝试。

就像祖儿说的，用平常心面对就好。

以不同的角度来看，一定会不一样！

我相信，只要乐观就好！

我真的希望他会有所表现，别让我失望好不好？

怎么办？

2010-11-07T01:40:00.003+08:00

心里总是闷闷的。

有些事情真是不懂该真么办。

我觉得这世上很多事情不是黑白，而是灰。

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
我们真的适合在一起吗？

如果是的话，为什么我们好像都觉得很辛苦？

是不是因为我们一直以来都在努力地让自己容入对方的世界呢？

我们唯有一个共同的想法就是， “不付出，没希望，就不会失望。”

唉，谁说爱情是没有条件地付出？

当你真的付出时，你至少希望对方会感受到并珍惜。

我也要人疼爱，想被宠坏。

我问心无愧，因为我觉得我已经尽力了。

如果我真的提出分手，后果是什么？

我们以后又会是怎样呢？

有谁来帮帮我啊？！

可是，我知道的是，如果我们继续这样，

分手，应该是迟早的事吧？

*从不同的角度看东西，应该会不一样*

Life's too short.

2010-11-06T00:36:00.002+08:00

You know what? life is too short to hate,too short to be jealous or envious at someone else but yourself! =))

I guess, or i feel that i actually grew! Of course not physically but mentally. I think i have better control of my feelings. I would tell myself to not judge other people so quickly, don't get jealous or upset over things that are not worth it and love and treat people around me well. Although i know i don't always do that, i still try to.

I really think that i should start building great confidence in myself. Walk tall even if i am not that tall.

O WELL!! i'm gonna just enjoy life and not worry too much. Everything has it's own place, flow and pace.

Okthxciao!

It's a good start.

2010-10-25T09:56:00.002+08:00

Guess what? i've started to jog in the evenings with celia! see..told you people, all i need is a buddy to motivate and keep me company. It actually feels good to like exercise in the evening. One thing is when you jog in the park, you don't seem to sweat like mad cause there's wind. It makes your skin feels cold. I shall keep this routine going. Hope the results show soon.

**
I really love the feeling of just sitting in the park, looking at people, feeling the air (if there is), watching expressions..hehe. If i have like a DSLR or something, i think i will take pretty interesting pictures in the park.=)

10/10/10

2010-10-10T10:58:00.002+08:00

Wow...the DATE is special but the DAY is normal. I guess it's just gonna be another day for me.

i feel that we are losing it.

Don't state the obvious.

2010-10-03T22:01:00.002+08:00

Omgg...i know i'm fat la...
stop stop stop JUST STOP comparing me to my sisters or my cousins or my friends.

LEAVE ME ALONE.

So what i don't have long legs..
so what i don't have long waist..
so what so what so what???

The whole f-ing world is losing weight but me.

So different.

2010-10-02T00:18:00.002+08:00

Do you know that it feels like? it feels like we are actually living in two different medium? Sometimes..i really don't feel like sitting around listening to people say how do they get along so well with their bf's family/ friends. However, as a friend, i should be supportive and happy for them right?

It feels like aaron and i have nothing much in contact/ in common. Besides going out with him sometimes and going to the park and talking about our college stuff and all. We don't actually have direct contract with each other's life. such as:
we don't have a group of friends in common that we hang out with often
we don't do any ...whatsoever activities together
we don't interact much with each other's family. in fact, we are actually quite scared to hang out with each other's family.
we haven't been on a vacation together.
we haven't had like a great celebration for any of our annieversaries. not even our 1 yr annie or 2 year annie...
we haven't been taking pictures for memories

there's so much so much so much i wanna do with him and ...hmm...

so.yea.

i dont really care if my blog is cramp with words or wtv.

you can dont read it if u don't want to.

kthxbye.

Taken for granted.

2010-09-29T16:32:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry if i have made anyone felt like they're taken for granted, cause i feel it now and it sucks.

Seriously. i feel so like a "do-it-all" person. Especially ever since i can drive.

Let's not talk about any other days/times... Yesterday and today i already the great experience of it.Yesterday was my sister's ROM celebration. Her focus was mainly on her friends and other guests...and my parents are like entertaining ppl too. i feel so like an outsider-ish. just sitting there...stoning like i'm attending someone else's event and not enjoying it. Not to forget...my aunt actually said i grew fatter which totally blew my mood away. I ended up doing tasks such as taking care of my sister's bag, placing her presents nicely, refill liquor, get the stuff into the car, watch out for my drunk-noisy-annoying parents.

Not to forget..i totally think my mom's hotter than me anyway. so just leave me alone. I even have this thought to not wanna be whatsoever bridesmaid la. I don't need or want the shine.

Today...so not in the mood for anything and guess what? my parents and my sister is going out for dinner. ME?! i got to have dunno what crappy dinner at home and neeed to pick up my bro from tuition and cousin to tuition. omg. i feel so GREAT that my driving skills are put to use..WTH.

Plus, my msn is f-ing not working. which makes it difficult for me to find somebody to chat with now. ARGH!!

kthxbye.

pink is the new colour!

2010-09-19T21:33:00.012+08:00

Like i promised, a post.

I haven't have the time to update my blog cause assignments at college is piling up. First video editing for PR , then marketing assignment.

Soo...Rewind back to...

11/09/2010 ; camwhore after outing with Edwin, Jo, Sha lee, and Js at night.

My new pink camera!

A gift from my pet bro.= D

Blurry pic, i like!

The pink squishy pillow from joey!

The rose fragrance m&s lotion from celia love.

Mini Jaffa Cakes from celia too!

12/09/2010;Going for lunch in Uncle's Alphard.

Comfy car!

Comfy seats!

Cool sister.

Retarded brother! :P

17/09/2010; Shopping at Sungai Wang with Stef!

She used Liese Bubble Dye!! O.O

Had lunch at T-bowl.

Good concept, average food.

Pink Shades necklace.

Only for rm5 =DD

Red Button ring for Rm1

Whee! i also bought a floral jumper and floral high waisted shorts.=D owh owh! and a cow pencil case too! almost forgot bout it. it's super cute! will show u guys a picture of it next time!

I've been using 2 monitor screens cause i have to do video editing. Really cool kay..the cursor can move from the left screen to the right one! :P

Gonna go off now! Kthxbai!

Greatful to be me, cause i have you.

2010-09-13T00:27:00.003+08:00

Hello dingdongs! Well..i've gotta say life's a ride. I'm not here to update you YET, but i will! =D *pinky promise*

Lately, a friend has made me realise how important it is to be greatful of the lil things u get in life. thanks v.

To be happy, be greatful.

I put real thoughts into her words...her advices. =)

Honestly..i realize i haven't been happy, contented and satisfy with what i am, what i have and what i get. Sometimes, i feel so selfish. =x

Now, i will try...

i will try to be better and happier person than before.

i like.=)

2010-08-28T00:10:00.007+08:00

aaron aaron aaron came over to watch a movie with me. =D We just fixed that terrabyte hard disk converter thingiee to the TV with the help of my uncle this afternoon! It's like a external hard drive for the TV. There's like tons of movies in it!

So so so..he came over after his dinner and we watched a movie.

we watched..

It's a very silly movie.

But, i enjoy it very much because i watched it with him.

*****

i hope my head and keep all these good memories like photos, cause we rarely take photos.=x

fate brought us together; time made us apart

2010-08-27T14:01:00.003+08:00

I have to admit that it is one though job to maintain a friendship especially when we are all at growing stage from high school to college then uni. We start mixing with new people and all.

I haven't have many close close friends from college other than stefanie, but i haven't been seeing most of the people from high school. Lately, i've only been seeing my bf, edwin, js, celia and jo.

I always believed in fate. Sometimes i would sit around thinking...what if i'm borned a year earlier o a year later? what if i didn't enter this school? what if this what if that.. i believe that fate actually made things different. =) On the other hand, time makes things fade...

i'm so bored now, i'm just here to crap. =D

K ThX BYE

K.O-ed

2010-08-26T17:22:00.003+08:00

O yea! uh huh!

Sem 2, kao dim!

my results are pretty much average. =D

Distinction -- Human comm & biz

Credit-- Critical Thinking skills

Pass-- Advanced Eng

WTH right? english became like my weakest subject or smth. HAHAHA!

O WELL MAN! glad i passed it!

Sem 3, here i come!

K THX BYE!

forgotten dream.

2010-08-26T00:03:00.004+08:00

Looking at my mom helping my aunt cut her hair today, it reminded me about my "i wanna be a hairstylist" dream. Now i wonder, where did that dream went? Maybe i just forgot about it, and the passion is just not there anymore.

One of my biggest wildest dream is to having a huge boutique and run it with my sisters! It won't be just any original shop man! There would be a corner for hair, make up and nails; another corner for a boutique for my eldest sis where she can design dresses and all; one corner for my 2nd sis for her pastry and stuff. owh owh owh! and my 2nd sis can handle the account.

well well well. i know... people say running a big biz with your siblings will cause DRAMA! hahaha! well, it's just a dream/imagination anyway. No doubt, someday , someone will come out with something like that though. =D REALLY! no joke.

When did this dream started? i think when i was pretty young, i got influenced by my mom! hehe! i only visited the salon for a haircut the first time when i was form 3 i think. I am 18 now and so far, i only visited the salon twice. =D i still trust my mom with my hair!

I still remember when i was young, i use to play with my hair when i'm suppose to study or do my work. i will braid it, clip it, tie it and stuff. Then, i would play with my mom's lipstick and all. =P

O yea! talking about lipsticks.....when i was pretty young, like 8 or 9 maybe. I played with my mom's lipstick, accidentally broke it and rolled it all over the bed cause i was scared and was trying to get the lipstick off the bed. Teehee! Childhood memories/stories. Tell you people more bout it next time! ;)
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Anyway, my hols are ending soon.
i didnt exactly did most of the things i said i wanted to do during my hols.
BUT!
i did spend lotsa time with my friends and zee bf!

O YEA! he's suppose to take a pic of his new hair! RAWR! it's not even new anymore now. -.-

K THX CIAO!

sweet like sugar.

2010-08-20T17:16:00.004+08:00

nom nom nom nom...

i'm having the choc cake my thoughtful darling bought for me!! Not to say that he wasn't thoughtful before this, but it's these sweet little gestures that makes me smile. =) Oh noo! i forgot to snap a pic. o well! it's okay la.=/

Just because i told him yesterday that i feel like eating chocolate cake, and he bought it for me today! =D

And he surprised me at my door! teeehee!!He even bought 2 different slices to let me choose!

o well! i'm gonna go see him at the park now!

kthxciao!

Smileys!!

2010-08-15T14:06:00.003+08:00

I did my nails!! imma show you!!=D

Smiley!

Smileys!

matches my phone somor!! XP

Kthxbye!

BREAK TIME!

2010-08-11T16:16:00.000+08:00

O yes! Tomorrow's my last paper and i'm free from assignments, work and exams!!!
o yeah! uh huh!
Gonna Go shopping with stef tomorrow to get her prom dress! whee!
fun fun fun!
i'm excited to go shopping!!!

Pheww! the weather is so hot!

Owh owh owh! the next update...is..about....my bf's new hair!!
it's really cute lah kay! XP
Kthxciao!

Leave me alone.

2010-08-09T21:09:00.002+08:00

Yes!! i freaking jealous of you thiny whiny people! please! just go away.
Damn.
Do you know how annoying isit it when even your MOM is thinner than you? WTH.
Gah! i feel so pathetic.
I tired of being fat.
Don't tell me i can just go on a diet and exercise.
Cause i'm telling you, i don't have that kind of determination.
hmm. but i'll try.

I'm having the urge to not be the bridesmaid of my sisters' wedding.
Everyone is gonna see like i'm the fattest.
Ting, lost weight. not fat anymore. Good for her
So did hanyi, she lost weight.
Ying, mmg always thin.
me? i gained weight. and i'm freaking fat.
I don't need the spot light to shine on my freaking FATS!

And you know what?Fat is only ONE OF my physical flaws.
I have a few others more.
Flaws, everywhere.

So!!!
For those who are thin. Good for you.
For those who are not...i've got nothing to say.
cause i am not thin either.

Kthxbye!

Icy.

2010-08-07T16:25:00.001+08:00

Never knew that whenever I cry,

My hands get cold.

;171

2010-08-07T15:23:00.004+08:00

Lately it seems like you chose to take more than give.

It as if like if i take a step back, expecting you to take one step forward.

But you just didn't.

I'm so tired of always being the one moving closer to you.

Can you at least make me feel like you want me? you want to move closer to me..

Sigh

Maybe it's just you're just so use to me being right here.

Or you're use to waiting for me to move?

Now, i have decided.

i'm not gonna move.

Blue baby.

2010-07-02T10:46:00.005+08:00

omg. i'm suppose to post this before i went to camp.=/ i forgot that i saved it. blah!o well. here it is. =)

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Bii!! i was thinking to give you this for our annie but this weekend i'm going to camp and you'll be emo. So.... i decided to give this blue kid to you this week!

He's huggable!!

Fun like me! Silly too!

Keeps you accompanied. He watches football!!

He's definitely kissable too!! =DD

Hope you like him! <3

I hate research papers.

2010-06-27T22:47:00.001+08:00

OMG LAH!!! i've never read so many words in my life EVER!!!!

Research papers definitely owned me lah! =.=

Show some mercy please.

I'm dying.

it happened too fast.

2010-06-25T01:49:00.001+08:00

It's late. I haven't been sleeping so late for quite some time.

What's keeping me awake?

Just stuff.

I just have this habit to think bout stuffs before i sleep..

I don't wanna think about it.

don't i deserve to have fun?

2010-06-24T21:46:00.004+08:00

Exam's over today. i went out with him. and...that's it...i'm back home..like some other day. just now..the house is so quiet...i'm alone with my lil poor chester on my lap. he's feeling lonely too. I somewhat hate the quietness now. It's like i need some sound of joy around me. at least..some sound of human or laughter or wtv.

Hmm...i expected more outta the day. i mean. afterall..it's after exams..and it's the only day i'm gonna enjoy then i have to work my ass off. but..i'm now, here alone thinking whether i should just start doing my assignments.

I'm just feeling so down...i wanna be somewhere else but here. He's replying so slowly...what is he busy doing?

I feel so...heavy.=/

o great. it's raining. How awesome adding on to my depressing. it's singing along.

Dying out of time.

2010-06-22T17:14:00.002+08:00

I've got so much shitttt research papers to do! and now they want me to go to some retarded leadership camp at the critical time i need to rush and submit all my papers. ZOMG!! give me a break!!

I've counted the days i got. i go 1 week to finish 2 research papers. and less than 2 weeks to finish another one. I've got not enough time. Research papers carries a lot of marks and i'm DARN worried. sigh.

I'm so stress now i wanna cry.

The one who can swap with me isnt in the 5th batch. WTH LAHH!!!

It's all about you.

2010-06-22T12:37:00.002+08:00

I just realize that i become a big cry baby when we argue.

Cause it's about you.

Am i not good enough?

Or it's just difficult to satisfy you?

Not a fine day.=/

2010-06-22T11:03:00.003+08:00

Blahhh....it's not a good day and i know it. Let me tell you why.

1.CTS exam suck balls.
2. Calvin can't replace me for the upcoming camp on the 2nd of july. If i go, i won't be able to complete my term papers.
3. I have a hole behind my pants and i wore it to coll. =.= *can die of embarrasment* (not sure if people saw it though)
4. I was too far away for the ticket booth. I forgot to look behind before reversing. and NOPE! i didn't bang the car behind .almost. *die of embarassment AGAIN*
5. gotta study. More exam papers to come.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! i'm gonna die. sigh.

Old friend.

2010-06-21T12:10:00.006+08:00

My old old friend has came back to visit me! When i was young i was one weak kid. I get sick almost every 2 months. Whenever i have cough, this friend will definitely pay a visit and stay till my cough is gone.

This old lovely friend of mine is...asthma! It feels like my lungs shrunk everytime i have asthma. -.- The worst thing is when i have flu and cough at the same time cause i can't breathe with my nose and when i breathe with my mouth..i have to take big breaths If i don't, it feels like i can't take in enough air.=/

It's so anoyying that it's exam period am i'm sick.>.<

Hopefully i get better by tmrw.=)) haha! &&& he got so worried.xD

I'm just like this.

2010-06-05T17:03:00.003+08:00

I'm currently in my sister's room looking at her get dress up for her friend's wedding. She's the maid of honour.

To be honest, everytime i see her get dressed to go out and she looks so pretty. i just tend to feel jealous,envious, the "low self esteem virus" hits me. Makes me feel fat and ugly...But, at the same time.. i'm proud, happy that she's my sister and she's pretty.

Well..i bet she will be the prettiest bride ever. hehe.

Not to forget,even my 2nd sis is losing weight. i still remember during chinese new year, my aunts actually think i am the fattest among us all. how sucky it felt.

hmm..so much for a day home alone. i ended up having dinner with my brother. He told me that he wants to go dinner with me before this. then today..he told me he's going out with his family for an early father's day celebration. what a total blow off. i'm not blaming him for anything. but it just feels so quiet and lonely. it's a saturday...i'm suppose to have something to do.And..he said he has to study and his parents are at home. So, he can't come over to teman me. Sigh..

yea. i tend to think a lot when i feel this way. hmm.what to eat for dinner tonight..hehe.

kthxbye.

What you see is not what you get.

2010-06-04T22:38:00.002+08:00

I'm so bothered lately by my physical flaws that not everyone can see. i mean real flaws that i have to cover up. it's so annoying when u have to watch the clothes u wear. =.= seriously. well. if u get what is it about ,then good. if not, then too bad. =x

envy people who has nice flawless skin.

not only the face.

Getting rusty.

2010-05-30T13:37:00.002+08:00

Out of curiosity, i took out my oh-so-forgotten item and started playing with it. MY SAXAPHONE. hahaha!! i'm telling you. my title refers to both my sax and my skills. =.= now i'm thinking..should i keep it or sell it?

i'm telling you. i'm a person who dreams of glory but don't work to achieve it! lalala. i always imagined myself to amazeeeeee ppl with my sax. =xxx but, ha-ha. As if that is gonna happen.

Playing the sax...kinda reminds me..how we used to be playing in the band. We use to play our instruments till our lips were numb. how we were so reluctant to go for practices. But, i can't deny it. It feels nice when u work as a team..

One thing i regret is... i didn't join the volleyball team. Well. SPM was so freaking important. i had to go for volleyball tuition. seriously. i should have just gone for volleyball. i really really...regret that ya know...i went to cheer for them though. Then i would think, if only i got the chance to be in the team. It was my last year.

This year being a KPC. i went to see bu3 volleyball team play. This year's team was strong! They won! I was so envious that they got to share the joy. i mean...the bond between the team members.. I always thought/ felt that doing thing as a team.. is great. =)

But, college group work sucks. lol! =x especially when your time table and others are diff and you have to cope with each other's time. WALAO!!!! it's crazy.

O well! i just felt like blogging. =D bwai!

i can't help it.

2010-05-28T18:12:00.003+08:00

Sometimes i just want to run and hide and leave in my own world.

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I know i'm being ridiculous. But, i just always have this sinking feeling in me. I'm not sure if he's the cause of it or maybe it's just me. Today he got upset or sad cause cy came over to my place in the morning. i just don't understand why. He wasn't being reasonable. sigh.

During lunch, i thought ...lets not let that spoil our day. i texted him and put smiley faces in the texts but he didn't seem to realise the effort i'm putting in. I really tried not to be sensitive, not to be sad, not to be emo. But i just can't help it.

I feel that we are growing apart...like something has came between us.. or the thing between us is fading. i don't feel his ..affection towards me anymore. well. i don't know if i'm right about what i feel. but yea. i guess that is. Would he feel like a chore to go out with me everyday to the park? would he feel like it's a task to take me out? i don't know but i definitely hope not.

I'm not trying to be this discontented bitch who just complains bout everything. I really can't help it okay?? I do feel happy when he actually spend time with me, i do feel contented when he says something sweet or just take me out. But, i dunno why, whenever i leave. The sinking feeling will just hit me. Sometimes, when i think about it, tears will gush out.

I really don't know what's going on. Does he know? or does he even realise? I mean...like..if we haven't seen each other for days or smth. He would be like..missing me, a lot. But, when i actually see him, he don't seem like he did miss me that much. i'm not doubting him. i'm just wondering.

I don't really know who to complain to as i constantly feel this way. If i complain to the same person over and over again, she/he will most probably get fed up.

Kthxbye.

i don't want us to fall apart.

your life isn't screwed up.

2010-05-16T11:44:00.002+08:00

hmm...now, knowing that she's going through a hard time, i felt bad and guilty that i've been complaining over unnecessary shits. i just didn't understand what went wrong between them. that things turn out this way. i just hope for the best for her and hope she stands strong and pull it through and score awesome grades for her midterms!You'll be better than fine. you are one strong girl on the inside. don't let this destroy u. It's your life, u shall take control of it!

Just go away!

2010-05-15T10:30:00.002+08:00

Sigh. early in the morning, i can already feel that i'm not in a very good mood kinda thing.i get angry so easily. i get annoyed even easily. please people, just leave me alone if u don't wanna get bomb or maybe get offended or something. kthxbye.

one of the days.

2010-05-14T22:00:00.003+08:00

Sorry bloggie. i know that i only come to you during sad times and when i just need to let things out. Well, cause talking to you seems so easy. i don't have to bother what you will actually think about me or judge me or whatsoever. Plus, i don't have to start the whole story and make sure it actually make sense. Today, he didn't go for footie. i thought he might offer to teman me. but, he didn't. It's okay..but, the moment,he just opened the door and got outta my car. and all he did was turn back and smiled at me. my heart sank. it felt like we were just close friends. hmm..i don't know. i dunno what made me so sensitive and emotional lately....dunno what's wrong with me. It just felt like the bad times we had all over again. the silence on the phone during our conversation, like we didnt have much to talk to. and, we ended up just saying bye and hung up. tears couldn't stop falling. i don't know what's wrong with me. really. but he didnt know there's something wrong with me.he didnt know that i'm always crying, alone. owh bloggie. what if one day he doesn't miss me anymore? what if one day he doesn't long to see my face or my smile anymore? what if one day it's okay for him to not hear me or talk to me at all? hmm. i dunno. why am i worrying bout this now? o well. MUMMY IS HOME FROM JAPAN. hehe. hope there's stuff that cheers me up.hehe.

mom bought new stuffs more me! =) 2 new hairbands, 1 new watch, 2 new tops, 1 new bottom and 1 new RED jacket. hehe.awesome stuff.

now i feel. just okay. he said smth like we should just enjoy the moment, live the moment, now. but, i dunno why, it didn't make me felt any better.

Self conscious.

2010-04-20T19:52:00.002+08:00

foo jing hui. stop being so freaking self conscious. sigh.

i FEEL SHORT AND FAT!! FML.

Hmm...i get jealous and envious so easily. why other ppl can be so tall, so slim, so hot, so pretty. and i'm not even close to any of that. how sad.. not to mention, i'm friggin short and my bf is tall.

I get jealous or maybe envious when i see couples taking sweet pics. come to think of it.. after being together for so long. i don't have many pics together..maybe we should start taking pics. but..i dunno..seems weird. so..not us. haha.

o well! gonna go have japanese food for dinner now! ciaoo!

fuck it for being fat. FOOD is the best. correction: GOOD FOOD!

Holiday To do list.

2010-04-12T22:19:00.002+08:00

Holly mama!! holidays coming soon man!! LIKE FINALLY!!! okayokay.. my exams are not over yet. but i'm here to create my long long longgggg holiday to do list weih!

To do list:
1.Go get nail polish and all to do awesome nail art!
2. Go out with Bf and Gf(S)!! Watch "how to train your dragon", get cute t-shirts at borders outlet, eat japanese crepe.

3.Go book court to play badminton.

4. Play volleyball

5.Go taman tun park to walky walky..

6.ROCK CLIMBING!! jo !!!celia!! *o no.what about my pretty nails?*

7.swimming, freaking hot weather.

8.Spend more time with bf, watch "date night"

AND THE LIST GOES ON AND ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!

teeehee!will be back soon!!

Contented.

2010-04-03T12:50:00.006+08:00

HEY peeeps. i woke up this morning and felt like bloggingg!! :P But i only manage to get this post done in the afternoon cause i was too busy toying around with picasa. hehe!

O well.. suddenly i felt so afraid that i some of my memories might blur out. =x Like i can't remember all the happy moments, that i might just forget some of them.

wheee... went out last night with him. Watched clash of the titans. not a bad movie. But. everything in the movie happened so quickly. like as if they are trying to compress a 3 hours movie into 2. It gave a headache. ANYHOW!! i still enjoyed every moment with him.i dont care if u call me cheesy. >.<

Had dinner and walked around after that. Although we didn't really do anything, it's still enjoyable. =D owh owh owh! not to forget. Met matthewww and gang. Haven't seen them for ages.>.>

alright. imma go shower and have lunch now. =)

Cheerios!

p/s: bii, we gotta take more pics.
memories to be kept.

I need to scream.

2010-04-01T17:47:00.004+08:00

Have you ever have this heavy feeling in ur heart. Like there's no good reason to cry. But everything has became a reason to cry? Sigh. This is one of th days i'm having that kind of feeling. I just feel so..somehow...just..stress and maybe depressed?? Somehow...it's like..i need to release. Yell,screamm, Whack up someone. But, seems like crying is the only thing i can do.

i just have so many things that i wanna get over. My oral presentation and my computing quiz tmrw, my finals and my freaking driving test. Please just let me Pass!! Driving isnt fun. it's stressful and i am not good at it. And some egoistic bitch like me hates things that she can't do well. I thought i can get the hang of it wth 10 hours lesson. BUt hell no. the instructor said that i need like 16 hours or so. FML please.

His birthday is coming up.i wonder if it ever came across his mind that he can actually spend his friday night with me. When i already said no to my friend to go to the march intake orientation night. when i'm all prepared to just...come home and spend time with him. But he just said " you can go to the orien night if you want to". I guess he had rather stay at home than spending time with me. I'm not blaming anything on him. it's just. sigh. i'm in such a eff-ed up mood right now.

Everything goes wrong when i'm in this kinda mood. Nothing seems right. Just hope i dont scream anything. Luckily i manage to find my raspberry thingie.

To be or not to be.

2010-03-31T10:24:00.010+08:00

just another option?or question?

BLAAA!!! Should i or should i nottt go to the marchh intake orien night. =//

Option 1: Aiyahhh!! you don't really feel like going. Don't go lahh. Go teman your bf better!!

Option 2: Go laaaa...You can make more friends. Bonding Bonding timee...

RAWR!!! HOWW!?!

i've been thinking alot lately, but shall leave that for the next post.

i like!

2010-03-07T23:07:00.002+08:00

Cute huh? <3

M.I.A.

2010-02-13T12:49:00.010+08:00

I know i know~ i have been M.I.A for a while. sorry people!! sorry jp.hehe. Don't worry, i'll see you during cny or something!! ;) So...the past 2 weeks i have been having presentations+Quiz. Busy much. teehee.. So.................I shall update with some random pictures from i dunno when!=x

Some pics from college.

Esther!!
Interviewing for assignment.

Esther took my camera, take pic of me during malaysian studies class when i was sleeping.And modified the pic.=.=

owh owh owh! meet pink boy. he likes pink and wear hello kitty.Stephanie and Samanta.

Hui Jien looking stress. At the lib studying for Computing Quiz.O.O

Pics of sunrise a long time ago at cal's place.=)

I GLOW!!!

Sunrise pics.
MAO MAO CHONG!!

Sunway pyramid. shopping!=D

The bf! <3The greeny couple. XP

Study.>.<
Couldn't resist. just had to snap some pics.

Book book book! i studied kk..

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HAPPY TIGER NEW YEAR!
Happy Valentine's day.<3

Mummy, i dont wanna go to school.=(

2010-01-16T23:11:00.003+08:00

After i went for a stroll at the park with my bii just now. i just realize.. the more i enjoy my weekends, the more i will hate my weekdays. sigh.

am i the only one who's feeling not so college? i mean.. it's not that i hate everything bout it. it just..doesn't give me the nice feeling. maybe it will be better after some time? i don't know. it's just the weekend has been so comfortable with all my dears and darlings.

i'm not being one miserable freak here. i just need somewhere to ...release all this.i don't wanna go like whineeee around. since everyone is kinda enjoying college. what's the point right?

i just feel like this lil 5 year old kid merajuk-ing not wanting to go to school. dragging on her mummy's sleeves not wanting to let go.

i'm gonna finish my english presentation stuffies now and then get some sleeep.

toodles, xoxo.

I miss high school.

2010-01-13T22:03:00.005+08:00

Last time i use to think. who the heck would miss high school. high school is so..bleh. but now, i realized. i really really really miss high school. i miss my friends. i miss how things are well planned for us that we don't need to do anything.
I miss being comfortable.

I dunno. i think it might be..pms. i'm just feeling so depressed when i go to coll today. like..flat mood. i had lunch with my malaysian study presentation group mates. Somewhat, hanging out with them didn't really felt comfortable. It just made me miss my girlfriends so much. Celia,Jeen pei, Joey. i miss you guysss very very very very much. Really sorry that i miss the last girl outing. regretting it. Anyway, back to today. We went to subway. i called the lettuce, cabbage. ZOMG la. freaking embarrassing. like. what was i thinking. sigh. if they were my silly gfs. it would just be the laugh of the day like. jp would go like " owhh..yesss jingo. cabbageee" hahaha. but today. i just felt plain dumb. >.< style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">Cal and chong yan. You guys really are....ahaha..dunno how to describe you awesome people.=)

As for my bf. i just hope. we will still have time for each other from next month onwards. at least,i hope. I know you're trying to understand how i feel. it's okay if you don't. maybe it's just me being a pessimist.

You guys must be thinking i'm being too...dramatic/over reacting/whatsoever. maybe it's pms. lol.

I just miss you guys. end of story.

loves,xoxo.

Car trip+KT wedding + after party.

2010-01-07T21:34:00.017+08:00

Malas nak tulis anything! so! picchaass!!

butt-aching trip to terengganu!!
=)

sisters with the lousy brother!

*pouts*

Lunch stop.

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Before the wedding

went to the hotel. we got locked outside cause the make up artist fell asleep. XD

view from our room balcony.

she was so tired..

mask time before putting on the make up.

quote chee phang: ju-on wanna jump sea!!?!?

clothes and shoes!!

make up time!!

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during the wedding!!

Pictures at the reception.=)

pictures in the ballroom!

outside the ballroom,leaving.

Khoo yit phang.

Khoo yit keng.

Khoo yit meng.

(the khoo brothers)

lookkk intoo muahhh eyesss.. O.O

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After the wedding!!

went to have a drink at e-bistro.

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wow!!this took me long,enough.=.= JEEN PEI!! here's one update!

till the next time, xoxo.

Happy winter solstice.=)

2009-12-23T15:38:00.010+08:00

i'm so lazy to write anything! Anyway, went to my aunt's place at cheras last saturday to celebrate "dong zhi". No idea what's that? It's a chinese festival when u eat "tang yuen"! haha! i'll show u! =D

My granny.=D

trust me, he's posing.

making "tang yuen" time.

Elsa.

Heng heng.

Pose people!!!

ahh! my lens!! the steam!!

uhhh. balls?

His Square shaped one!

Ofcoz i need to pose with my cute,pretty pink one too!!!!!

Granny/mom/aunts.

Kids likes the cam too!

natural poser!!

isn't she cute?

aunt!

aunt!!

aunt!!!

i don't know how he can sleep when it was so noisy!

Mom and aunt!

Gone a lil wild! one hand not enough.

make it two! =x

My fav pic of the night!=D

Starry starry night.

2009-12-18T22:14:00.007+08:00

the awesome bawsome cawsome dawsome eawsome fawsome gawsome hawsome .. okay.stop here. PROM!!!!! is over. it all happened so quickly. i didn't even had enough time to take pics with everyone!! no fairrr... lets start allll the way...from the beginning of the day. Went to help out with the deco in the morning. then came home ,got some rest. THEN!! it's time.....wan ting + sha lee came first. then celia+joey came. then, big js+small js+ kent came to keh poh. i was like walking around the house madly. haha! my house was like a saloon or smth! my mom was doing our hair and my sis was doing the make up. :D then. when i was gonna leave house soon. jp+v called , EMERGENCY CALLS.hehe! they needed my sis to do their make up. pei was so....stressed. but, it all went well after that. we were the last to arrive. i think. we weren't exactly late though.

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PICCHASS!!!

o well.since there's too many pics. i'll just pick a few that i like very much personally. =)

my fav pic of the night.<3

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thanks to all prom committee member for making this night happen!!! leaving one great piece of memories for everyone as they leave this chapter of their lives and move on to the next. we'll all remember. starry starry night.

I'm alone.

2009-11-28T01:08:00.004+08:00

scrolling down my msn list,

I realize i don't know who to talk to.

looking at my cell phone,

I realize i have nobody to text.

i guess i'm one lonely girl.

Random random-ness.

2009-11-25T21:49:00.005+08:00

Time for an update peeeps!!!!!!!!!!!!!=DDD Done with Add maths paper today. I think it was considered quite and easy paper. IF i don't have unexpected careless mistake. Hopefully i get an A. hehe. Anyway!! this post is serious F.O.S !! haha! The pictures/incident you're gonna see or read is..haha~ you'll see. xD

what? cannot take pic of myself isit. i felt pretty that day la! =x

Masking picture #1

Masking picture #2
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hahahaha!! time for some silly picture of my lame bro! O.O

uhh..pillow kung-fu?

uh. heh~xP

=O
More pillows!!
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hahhaha!!! time to listen to me being stupid.

incident #1:
i was suppose to have tuition at 9 o clock in the morning. Shiet!!! overslept!! woke up at 9.10. Jumps outta bed!!! running arounddd stupidly...walking in and out not knowing what to do.. seriously~haha! then my sister was asking me....what time is your tuition...i yelled 8 o clock!!! think again. nono. 9 o clock!!!! Continues walking in and out stupidly.
Not so funny right? wait till u hear the next one.

incident #2:!
Had moral paper that morning~came home..took a nap at about 1 something. at 2 smth! i open my eyes... i JUMPED out of bedd....Ran out of my room shouting * O CRAPP!! O NOOO!!! SHITTT * ,*slaps my forhead* ,*was about to cry* ,my brother was like staring at me not knowing what happen. =.= *clear me head* ,*thinks again* ,went back to sleep!! hahahaha!!! u know what happen? i thought i over slept and missed a paper when i open my eyes and saw the sky so bright!! =xxxxx

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway!! today!! when i come home from the park!! there was a worm!! on my finger!!! YUCK!!! it was like green. at first i felt something sticking to my finger. i thought it's like a twig or a leaf or something. MANA TAU!!! it's a freaking Greeen disgusting worm!! O.O

okay..enough of the random stuffs huh? :P

Woopty-ta!! <3

Zeeee dooms day!

2009-11-17T20:45:00.002+08:00

SPM SPM SPM SPM SPM SPM SPM SPM SPM SPM !!!!!!!

i i can't believe tomorrow's the dayyyy!!! okay. why am i so happy? hahaha!! i just can't wait to get over it!! :P trust me..whether is like next month next year or after 10 years!! u will still study only like 1 month or 3 weeks before zee TIME comess!! at least i think i will be like that.

but seriously!! i always imagine that i blank out when i look at the questions!! especially for essays! >.< omgg lahh!!! It's tomorrow weih!! Or like i would colour the answers for the wrong questions and GG!!!

And most of the time. i haven't been thinking ABOUT spm but i've been thinking AFTER spm. okayy!! shut up jing hui. you're suppose to be panicking!!!!

SHO!!!!!!! imma go of noww! GOOD LUCKKKK PEOPLEE!!!! Don't forget your SLIP,IC, and DO NOT OVERSLEEP!!!! :P

ALRIGHTY!! i have no time to colour-fy this whole post!! soo!! SEE YA!

Not so bad afterall?

2009-11-05T17:48:00.002+08:00

Ahhh!! need to study need to study. haha! i told myself that i will not use the comp till like after spm or smth. but..cannot lah! buay tahan!!! it's like...i can't study 24/7 rightt?=/ so..ANYWAY...

Today Chong yan suddenly called me in the morning saying he's gonna come over and slack abittt.... so okay lorh. got up.showered.then after that he nak cari makan. so..decided to go ikea!! to have my ikeaaa meatballs! :P then...bad moment.smth...bad happen. =/ sorry darling.

But...the day wasn't all bad! =DD after that he did make it to ikeaaa..then...chong yan left first and we lepak-ed around after he had his lunch at T.G.I.F. omg. i was in like shorts and big T walking around. so ugly.=x then his mom called and all. so decided to go back! took cabbie. and! i skipped my last class of tuition today..wheeeee..

It's raining again. Sejarah is boring. banyak depressing. >.<

okay! bye bye people! back to drown myself in the past!

Credits to Jellyfish!

2009-10-22T23:11:00.002+08:00

THANK YOUUU JEEN PEI FOR THE AWESOME AWESOMEE PICTUREEE!!!

LOVEEEES <3

really pei,thank you!

Sweet-bitter times.

2009-10-21T22:01:00.004+08:00

15 months +1 day. <3

Time passes so quickly. We're together for a year plus already. I still remember the first day we were together. It made me panic. People didn't see it coming at all. I believe it was fate that brought us together.

I remember,
How sweet he was to make my mornings as interesting as possible.
He is still sweet now, just in a different way.=)

I remember,
How cute he was when he tried to surprise me with a rose on our first week,but failed.
Silly him.=D

I remember,
How awesome he was to buy me BR ice cream and even deliver it to my house.
Half a gallon k, enough to satisfy me. :P

I remember,
How lovely he was to surprise me with a doggie softoy on our first monthie although we were in 2 different places.

I remember,
So much,so much he has done.

I too remember,
How we argued,have different opinions.
But we always talk things over.

And after all we've been through. I hope this relationship is stronger than before.

When I saw you I was afraid to meet you.
When I met you I was afraid to kiss you.
When I kissed you I was afraid to love you.
Now that I love you, I am afraid to lose you.

i see a rainbow.

2009-10-17T23:19:00.002+08:00

hehehe! so happy so happy so happy! everything is okay now! =)

We CYCLED to Taman Mega today to eat dim sum. We = Me,celia, Big js,small js,sha lee. Kent woh,JJ,jen ru and joey drove instead. Omg. Go there also no appetite to eat.>.<

I was like SO relieved when we came back to Bu. XP then went to community hall to play Vball a bit. Then went to zee park to see him!! hehehe!!

Bla bla bla bla!!!
i need to study! But i can't. and i don't dare to go out and have fun cause i'm gonna feel damn guilty! >.<

look up,
you might see something pretty.=)

!@#@%$^%&^*&)((%&$%^@#%!#$!@#

2009-10-14T22:45:00.003+08:00

I JUST WANT THINGS TO BE NORMAL AND SIMPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I JUST WANT YOU TO BE CERTAIN. AND NOT LEAVE ME HANGING.

I JUST WANT THINGS TO BE FINE,OKAY. OR EVEN BETTER. IF THAT'S POSSIBLE.

i really dont know what to do anymore. sigh. i'm tired. i'm exhausted. but i can't sleep.

overloaded mind.

2009-10-13T00:02:00.002+08:00

There's so much in my mind. But it's all jumbled up that i don't know where to start. *sigh*

I really miss how we used to be. I really miss how u care and being all gentle. I really miss how you try to make my every morning so interesting. I guess. Things really can't be the same anymore. and i can't believe that...the precious memories i had of those messages that i saved in my phone are all gone now. Maybe it doesn't mean a lot to you. But it means a lot to me. Last time, you use to be so sweet that your words seem to have this magic effect to make my smile instantly. And when we go out. you would just grab hold of my hand all time.But now, your "good nights" seem to be just bold and plain. I can't help it but to think about us, how we were the last time. And how are we now. And comparing them.

I just hope. u know how i'm feeling.When you hugged today. It really really really felt like things were like before. like how it used to be. But then i realize. It won't be the same. But, i'm really happy that i spent time with you. really.

Exams are coming soon. I have limited time! i have got to study. i know.I really need to clear my head.

Why do i just lie awake and think of you?
I need some sleep.
Tomorrow i have things to do.
Everytime i close my eyes i see your face
So i try to read but all i do is lose my place.
[miley cyrus-obsessed]

Okay!! I guess. i gotta go catch some sleep now.
hoping tmrw when i wake up,it turns out to be a dream.

Shut myself in.

2009-10-08T18:44:00.002+08:00

Seems like everyone is gonna miss high school. how come i'm not feeling the same? It's more like i can't wait to leave high school. Honestly, i don't think i have any personal memories in high school. Let me give u a simple example. I didn't enjoyed as much as other people did on graduation day. Camwhoring with friends.. having class pictures. And having to look at them take their class picture..made me felt like shit. It feels like something is missing in high school. I didn't really have many pics on that day. and i don't have a class pic. or a class page. Don't ever ask my is my high school life just like crap. k?! Sigh.

And i am him. i just feel very distant from him. I just. sigh. maybe it's my sensitivity again. But. i really think that...he can smile brighter and happier when he's around his friends or other people rather than with me. I can't help it but to feel down. I don't think he realize what's the problem. and why am i acting this way. If this goes on. i don't think...it will work. i think he might get fed up. i don't know.

I just feeling shutting myself in from the world. Doesn't seem like anyone cares anyway. blah!

i should just stop fantasizing
and move on.

Bitterheart.

2009-10-07T10:28:00.002+08:00

Things doesn't seem to be alright lately. Me being super sensitive makes everything worse. I vow to study hard for the whole month! i'm serious this time. and i won't see him anymore until after exams. or.maybe just not so often.i mean it. Sigh! i won't be selfish.

Spm is in about a month? i feel so unprepared. This is just like shit.

I didn't cry cause my trials results turn out sucky doesn't mean i didn't work for it.

I have sooo many things i feel like ranting out. but.i guess there's no point doing that.

I just can't wait for all thisss shitttt to be over!!!!!!!!

sigh.

2009-09-22T19:12:00.000+08:00

not first

not second

but third.

Unimportant presence.

2009-09-17T21:01:00.002+08:00

i know this is a selfish thought.
But sometimes i just feel people take my presence for granted.It's like i'm always around that people don't find me being around important anymore.

U know, i have the habit of thinking bout stuff when i'm in bed till i fall asleep.
Once, i thought. Maybe i should just go somewhere far far away to study and come back only once in a while. Then maybe that time, people would actually realize they miss my presence.

Sometimes, it's like. He/she is in my important list but i'm in his/her forgotten list.

maybe someday you'll realize that i won't always be around.

090909-->120909<3

2009-09-14T23:02:00.006+08:00

UPDATEEEE!!!!!! yea yea yea! i know i'm suppose to study for add maths. =DD

090909 =DDD

When for dinner for dinner at Jake's!! It's the BEST STEAK IN TOWN!!I'm not exaggerating!!I'm serious!! Look!!@@

This is mine. I had lamb instead. =DD

THIS!! is the BOMB!!!!Look at it!! soo juicyy lookingg! even with my lousyyy paria crappy cam it still lookss DEEELICIOUS!!

Close up?=PP *droools*

Ofcoz!! must camwhore abit rightt?xDD

100909 =//

on my actual birthday! went to celia's place to study accounts! due to last minute study. even though i pretty much those all the questions that are coming out. But. tak sempat study lah! >.<

110909 <3

happy happy!!Went out with darling. pretty simple. Just went to ou for lunch,walked around. then came home and slack cause both of us were pretty tired and lazy. But. i enjoyed having him around me!!=DD thank you.<3

120909 =)

BAKED OREO CHEESECAKEE!!!! It's not bad! or pretty good for the first time. But i think..the..sugar in the cheese is pretty uneven that some part are sweeter and some part are not sweet enough! anyway! i just took a pic of it.

=D

That's all! gonna go brush up my add maths now!

i'm a happy and lucky girl.<3

Hope and pray.

2009-09-02T16:57:00.001+08:00

Today's the 2nd day of exams. I'm like so DEAD.

Moral and Sejarah paper today. pretty crappy..>.<

i justtt wish to pass...

pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls!!!

=((

I am going crazy.

2009-08-30T14:44:00.001+08:00

=(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

thanksss soo much to my awesome examsss.. i can't go for countdown!

I'm sooo GRUMPYY!!! THAT..i feel like ripping something.

Don't try provoking me right now!!!

i might break bones.

Facts we don't know.

2009-08-28T23:32:00.002+08:00

I find this pretty cool!!!

1.Coca-Cola was originally green.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
2 The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
3 . The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
4 . The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
5 . There are two credit cards for every person in the United States .
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
8. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath ..
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
9. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
10. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you Sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
11 . It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
12 . The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to Suppress a sneeze; you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
14 . Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from History. "Spades" - King David; "Clubs" - Alexander the Great; " Hearts" - Charlemagne; "Diamonds" - Julius Caesar.
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -------
15.

11 x 11=121

111 x111=12321

1111x1111=1234321

11111x11111= 123454321

111111x111111= 12345654321

1111111x1111111= 1234567654321

111111111x111111111 =123456787654321

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
16. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has a all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
17 What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?
Ans. - All invented by women.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
18. Honey - This is the only food that doesn't spoil.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
19. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
20. A snail can sleep for three years.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
21. All polar bears are left handed.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
22. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
23 . Butterflies taste with their feet.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
24 Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
25 . In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
26 . On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
27 . Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
28. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
29. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
30. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
31 . The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
32 Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
33. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
34 . The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
35. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
36 . Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

So much to think about.

2009-08-25T14:50:00.003+08:00

MAJOR MOODDD SWINGSSS YOOO!!!
*sigh*
Trials is like next week. I'm totally unprepared. SO SCREWEDD!!!

And..
where am i gonna sit during prom.=.=
crapppppppppppppp!!!! RAWR!!

Choices made.

2009-08-22T22:47:00.002+08:00

I chose to believe you, and now i will.

Random thought: As long as i tried, no regrets! ;)
Random note: friends are better in quality than quantity.

This must sound funny. haha! kelly and i baked together today. And talked a lot bout humans. Pretty difficult to understand at times. We're just complicated.

After we baked, went around giving some out. To Sam, yee peng and the beloved bf! =D He was having a BBQ today.His relatives knew he went to the park to meet up with me a bit. They asked to see me! hahhaa!!nooooo! >.< i wasn't looking attractive alright? lol!

i miss him.=/

I guess i was wrong.=)

2009-08-21T23:21:00.004+08:00

Things actually do fall into places itself!! =)))

It's all better now between me and him. And you know what?The whole relationship feels new again. I've got to admit. I'm really happy. =DD

Ahhh...trials is in...bout a week. i feel so. unprepared yet unafraid. =.=

I'm gonna die!

hahhaa!! anyway! just a short update! xP

Owh!!! AND!!! My phone is fixed!!! =)) pictures!!

Went to celia's place this morning to nerdy-fy myself!

And!! MY HAIR!!!FROM THIS TO

-
--
---
----
-----
------
-------
--------
---------
----------
---------
--------
-------
------
-----
----
---
--
-

THIS!! haha! i know i know! i chopped it off! and now i want it to grow faster! =(

i know i'm happy with you.<3

The fact.

2009-08-19T16:32:00.003+08:00

I have nobody. I envy people to have a BEST FRIEND! who would be there. dead or alive.=.=

I just need 1. Not 2 not 3. Not a whole bunch. Just ONE.

Somebody that i can spill out to. no matter what it is.
The one who would understand me when i myself is in the mist.
The one...who would know i'm not alright even when i pretend.
The one who would just randomly call me up to catch up with me and crack out some lame jokes and ask how's things going.
The one who would have all the time to sit and listen to me sulk whine and crap.
The one....

sigh. o well.

Is it me,or you?

2009-08-15T23:12:00.003+08:00

Am i not obvious enough? or you just didn't notice?
I just want things to magically fall into place but it seems to be falling apart.
I'm just so tired..so tired of trying,trying to fix this.
I'm so afraid to bring anything up.
I'm so afraid of dramas happening.
HAHAA! i'm such a wussy! xP

Seriously, where is this going..

Who wouldn't.

2009-08-13T18:51:00.002+08:00

I really envy those people with long legs, tinny winny waist, and nice arms! AND NO TUMMY!!=x

Yeah,seriously.

If i had all those. You think i won't wanna wear body hugging/sleeveless/Exposing clothes meh!

The point is, i dont.

I don't have super long legs,sizzling hot body. *sighhhh*

just another stupid low self esteem post.

random thought.

2009-08-09T11:30:00.004+08:00

Have you ever felt that sometimes u just want to be selfish that you hope everyone pays attention to you. and that u don't have to share your friends and family. And obviously not your bf.

I did. Sometimes i hope my sisters don't have bf or their own best friends. So they can always listen to me and spend some time with me.Hahaha. Well. but they need their bf and best friends like i do.

Sometimes i hope i would be a person that i would pop up in one's mind whenever they need someone to talk to,or feel lonely or just to have some fun.

Just sometimes i think i've lost the spot light on top of me. Last time, when i was a kid i have it (which kid doesnt) and during primary i still have it especially from the adults. But, as i grew. the light got dimmer. since strd 5 or 6. the light is soo dim that it feels like it will be gone anytime. And now in high school. it's almost gone. i'm just living under the light of 1 teeny-weeny firefly.

HAHAHA!! soo dramatic. But honestly, i don't feel the attention anymore. It's not that i want them,need them, or craving for them. i just see the change.

High school doesnt seem to be my place.And i know, i can't be selfish.

sweetheart,
i'm greatful that i have you,
to listen to me when i need a ear.
to always be there when i need someone.
to make me feel like i'm the most important person to you. <3

Friday night. <3

2009-08-08T09:58:00.003+08:00

Went out yesterday for dinner and movies with me bf!!!! :D

Honestly, this is our FIRST date. After a year we're together. Amazing or not?

Well, it wasn't the actual plan. But, o well!

I enjoyed the night so did he.=)

Went to watch G.I.Joe. Cool movieeee!!! But...my back and neck was so stiff cause we were sitting at the first row. Not cool! >.<

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.<3

The low profile girl.

2009-08-04T18:57:00.002+08:00

haha! i don't know if this is funny or saddening. :P

After 5 years i've been in that school. Till now there are still people from the same form who don't know my name! haha! =D ,=(

Should i say i'm a low profile girl. or just. Unknown?Maybe i should work on making more friends. >.<

But seriously, people either knows me for dunyu's sister. OR aaron's gf! >.>

As my bf says, friends are better in quality not quantity. but. *sigh*

O well. i'll try to be social-craze. LOL.=.= wtv is that suppose to mean.But i guess that won't happen yet, in high school.

Nopeee!! i'm not sad or emo. Just. haha! random thoughts! ;)

Just like a nightmare.

2009-08-02T14:46:00.004+08:00

*sigh of relief*

My weekend was really like a nightmare. So dramatic. So messed up. so. like i dunno!

But it's all settled now. i'm glad we pulled it through!

and thanks to those people we were concerned.

Sorry chong yan that u were in shit. and thank you calvin for willing to get in the shit! =D and. Jp who were around to.feel the shit! HAHAHA!! sounds really shitty! :P But i sincerely thank you people. really appreciate it!

cheers to f.o.s!

*addition*
owh owh owh! and my 2 silly sisters!! =DD miss foo jing ting who called all the way from aussie to listen to shit. haha! and silly foo chin suan who texted me!! yes lah! it's very funny when ur sis text u to ask you like what happen and that they will always be there for u! =D But, my heart was really melted. <3 Love you silly people! =)

o yea! and not to forget that dumbshit gavin! and beng huat for being concerned.:P

Speechless.

2009-07-31T15:11:00.001+08:00

i can't believe my ears. Although people say what you hear is not always true. But this time. my heart AND BRAIN tells me. it's true.

How can u.

Are we not on the same channel?

2009-07-27T17:22:00.003+08:00

We don't PRETEND! we just tend to accept the way she is. But, we do need other places to release too right?

We don't put on the mask to be fake friends. we just thinks that a friendship should worth more.

We don't talk about her to bitch about her. And who knows what's the definition of bitching. We are just talking bout things she did to us. It's like a place to release that maybe we will feel better after telling somebody and then get over it.

It's okay. i totally understand if you don't get it.

Feeling the love.

2009-07-23T20:16:00.002+08:00

Hehehe!! mummy,daddy,and darling has been showing great care cos i'm like dying-ly sick. :P

Mummy checked on me like 3 or 4 times last night. From what i remember was 12.05, 3 smth then morning when i woke up in the morning. I still went to school weih! damn semangat! :P

Daddy checked my temperature too. like feeling my forehead. It's been some time since i last got that kay! it felt great! hehe!

As for my silly darling. He has been worried sick! haha! He's have cough too! hehe! hope i didn't pass my virus to him!

My fever seems to come back to me everytime i think it's gone! on tuesday noon. i got it. took panadol,slept, was alright. The next morning it came back! went home took panadols again and zzzz again. Then it became alright. Then!!! at night! when i sleep. During the night! it came back! poor mummy was worried too.=/ i felt so bad.

i love you all! <3

Sick and dying.

2009-07-22T17:52:00.002+08:00

Fever for 2 days. But still went to school. Today i went to school for accounts. and end up that dumb dumb accounts teacher was absent.

I'm hot and cold. Hot on the head. Cold on the hands.

Yea. So it's panadol for 2 days.

i know i'm being sensitive lately.
sorry if it's too much for u to handle.

Finally.

2009-07-19T15:28:00.001+08:00

Finally we talked over! i'm sooo RELIEVED!! like serious! hehe!!

o well!! ;)

hope things gooo well.

and. YAY YAY YAY!!!
my cookies turned out GREAT!!! =DDD
he got me something. but he doesn't want to tell me what isit.
sho evil.
he makes me curious then leave me hanging!

haha! i'll WAIT!! :P

perfect-imperfect.

2009-07-19T00:56:00.003+08:00

more quarelling.more leaking.more dehydration.

i'm so tired. u know that?i'm just, mentally exhausted.and i really dunno what to do.

sigh. i know i love you.

maybe i am just a gf that is not up to ur standards.

i'm sorry that i'm full of flaws.
i'm sorry that i'm just close to perfect.
i'm sorry i'm just not good enough.

i just want us to be like old times.=/
please?

i thought.

2009-07-18T18:21:00.002+08:00

i just thought u would be a lil bit more supportive. since i thought i might have misjudged u. BUT NO. u gimme the same thing. i thought i just want to tell u. and treat u like a great friend. but NO. u just had to burst my bubble and make me feel so insecure of what i am going to do for him.

Like seriously. special special special. is what u want. -.- please lah!!!! omg. why am i even affected by what u said. so WHATSOEVER!!!

RAWR!!

Shit happens.

2009-07-18T13:23:00.005+08:00

*long sigh* what a day. i feel so mentally exhausted. But i guess things are getting better? what happen? haha! generally! it's a WHOLE LOT of embarassment this morning during breakfast+WHOLE LOT of complications with the bf.

i really don't know what bad luck is falling upon me. yes! i am telling u! BAD LUCK!!

i just hope turns out better.

but what made me happy was.My friends were there. And! my sister! yea! my stupid kangaroo land sister. She listened to me crap. and she shared her crap with me. =D

*long sigh AGAIN*
i just hope things would be better.

my tears are just incontrolable lately.